toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
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