when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
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