it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
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