I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
