everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
Randomize
