Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
