Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
