He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
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