From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
Randomize
