my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
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