One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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