Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
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