I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
I want to have your abortion
I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
Randomize
