it's too hot outside to masturbate.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize
