Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
