i jhust puked up my retainher.
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
Gay?
German.
Pity.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
