i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
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