well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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