Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
