Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
