y did u give ur computer a hand job?
I want to make a zoo with you.
Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
Randomize
