if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
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