i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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