at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
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