Having a random hookup so left but love u
Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
