we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
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