i don't plan on having that self control this summer
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
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