omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
