You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
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