I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
Randomize
