She went from zero to smokin in five shots
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
Why is there bacon in the couch?
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
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