Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
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