my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
Randomize
