babies were throwing up all over the place
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize
