I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
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