Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Randomize
