i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
