You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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