I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Randomize
