dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
