i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
Randomize
