I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
