just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
Randomize
