that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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