I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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