I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
