I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
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