I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
I'm jealous of your bromance
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
