this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
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