it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
Randomize
