sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
Randomize
