That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
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