susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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