what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
Randomize
