May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Randomize
