This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
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