in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
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