what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
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